My Personal Experience Awakened

I have personally been familiar with magick from a young age. My father is a Hoodoo priest, and my mother is an herbalist. Magick (including Hoodoo) has caught my interest in a way I couldn't describe. My own mother was someone who swore by it. I remember sitting and watching her create potions in her home, going out and collecting ingredients, and playing with some of the more elaborately designed bottles and potion vials she had collected over the years.

But still, I struggled to grasp magick myself. Although, I was introduced all those years ago, I had yet to give myself to the practice and open myself up. In hindsight, I now understand it was simply that the time wasn't right. Though I always know I have the magical power cultivated since I was a toddler. For example, I could have visions in case some significant changes (accident, illness) were about to happen to someone. I also knew how to communicate telepathically to someone - that I knew later in life that there are some types of people with the same or similar energy wave; these people, I could easily communicate telepathically compared to others. In fact, that time didn't come until around some decades ago when I was sitting in my apartment during some of my darker days. My emotions stewed inside me despite all my tears having already flowed.

I had found myself in a bad relationship. An explosively violent one. I now see my ex-partner living with his own demons, and while I am still sure we loved each other in our own way, we weren't meant to be. Regardless, it was during one of more intense fights I truly started to realize this for perhaps the first time. He had left our apartment and went to stay with a friend. I was left alone in my own space, hunched over at the kitchen table in the darkness, the only light coming from streetlight on the other side of the street.

I was lost, confused, and entirely unsure of what my future held. It was at this moment, literally sitting with my head in my hands, that the shimmers of magick began to draw my attention gently. At first, I was taken a little by surprise, but this was soon replaced by feelings of intrigue and curiosity. All the little pieces of information I had discovered over the years slowly started to piece themselves together inside my mind in a way they had not done before. The curiosity seemed to consume me.

I pulled out an old notebook my mother gave me to read many years ago, and I flicked through the pages for an hour or so, not really sure what I was looking for. Eventually, about midway through, I came across a recipe for a potion of happiness. I laughed to myself. Could it really be that simple? I thought back to my mother all those years ago. I had so much love and respect for that lady in my life, so hey, if she was adamant it worked, then maybe I should be too. It took a while and a strange walk outside in the middle of the night to the nearest park, and cemetery, but I managed to collect all the ingredients.

I searched the apartment for bits and pieces I could use. The notebook was old, torn at the spine with several missing pages, but most were present. It was a book of protection spells and described roots, herbs and soil. A little under an hour later, the potion was set, and I recited the spell written among the pages. I also spent a few minutes writing down any intentions I had onto small scraps of paper, folding them up and tying them to the potion vial, and sat with the setup for half an hour or so, and meditating on my intentions.

At first, I thought I wanted freedom from my suffering, and there's no doubt I did. My sadness was almost overwhelming, and I just wanted it to end. This was my main intention, but this quickly faded to the back of my mind, and without warning, made way for something a little more profound. I felt peaceful, calm, and determined. There was a moment, a lasting moment in stillness, that seemed to stretch on and on where I felt determined. Motivated. Driven. I know I was in a rut, but I would feel a burning drive within me that knew that if I put my mind into it, I would be able to move forward.

At the time, I thought it was simply a moment of realization. An epiphany, and perhaps to some degree it was. However, now I know, coupled with my more recent experiences over the years, this was some kind of magic. Ever since, time and time again, I have been able to tap into this source of power that is just not only within me, but a kind of magic that is within us all.

With love,

Herathe